Mercury.

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Mercury. I just did not expect to lose you so young. I do not know what happened. I cannot even fathom the last 48 hours. I am so heartbroken. I don’t know if I can ever get more rodents after this. You leave behind Lennon who is absolutely lost without you. I cannot even write a proper memorial because I am just absolutely in shock.

I named you after one of my favorite musicians. Freddie Mercury from Queen. A man I’ve never met but who was obviously a warm, loving, gentle, and talented soul. And who died too young as well. And with so much left to do left undone. A talented treasure just taken from us all. You were a proper namesake.

My 4 year old is so confused by death of late. He asked if you would come back. He said he didn’t want you to go. He said that you cannot go away because you and Lennon are happy together. That you cannot leave Lennon alone. That you are Lennon’s brother and brothers stick together. Like he and his brother. Then he asked if his brother would get sick like Mercury and he like Lennon would be left behind. And it absolutely broke my heart. How your death impacts us. How it touches the heart of a small child. How it hurts this heart of mine.

In the last days Lennon mothered you. He groomed you. He slept on top of you. He held you in his gerbil way. Watching this unfold was the most anguishing thing I’ve ever seen with animals. So human this devotion of one to another. And then Lennon buried you. You were still breathing but just barely. But he knew. He had finally said his goodbye. I dug you out and held you. Held you to my chest. Held you for hours. Using the dropper to hydrate you with water. Then made a warm cloth nest for you in a smaller container to keep near me. For two days you held on like this. In this state of limbo. Like a coma truth be told. Like you were only sleeping. Deeply sleeping. Picking you up and giving you water. Hoping you’d rouse. That you were only just in the worst of the illness and would improve at any time.

Denial perhaps. I don’t know. But now you are resting in finality by the peach tree in the back yard.

“Who wants to live forever?

Who dares to love forever?

When love must die.

….

Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Forever is our today,
Who waits forever anyway?”

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2 thoughts on “Mercury.

  1. Oh no 😦 I’m so sorry to hear this. I was hopeful that he would recover. It’s always difficult to lose a pet. I’m sure Lennon will be okay but I guess our human emotions make it even more difficult for us when we lose a pet that was bonded to another. Try and be strong and take solace in the fact that Mercury led a good life and that he experienced the love of a good home.

    • Thank you so much for your comment. I’ve been having a hard time with this. 😦 It’s really making me think twice about taking more pets in for a long while. Sadly, most of my pets I got around the same time a couple years ago so my hammys are all around the same elderly age and this is more expected despite sad. My gerbils should have had another year and half for average life span and Mercury was SO healthy just last week. It’s amazing how fast their little bodies break down when they get sick. 😦 Thank you again.

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