The Day After.

Today was a less dark day. When I say dark – death hovers over me like a ghost. I don’t believe in actual ghosts as an independent spiritual entity that follows one about but more like a mood that feels outside of yourself. Hovering behind your shoulder. Some mood you try to throw away from inside but it just follows you everywhere you go. Yeah, that feeling …was gone today. I only thought of Penny in memory of her antics and not how I last found her. That was a start.

I cleaned items yesterday and a few more today. Her damask print food bowl and her custom quilted hammocks today were hard because I looked at them and think – how could I put these in a future Syrian’s cage one day? They are Penny’s!

As much time passes I think I won’t feel so possessive on behalf of Penny. In fact I’m sure Penny could care less! Alive or gone. But still I have these thoughts!

Yesterday, was one of those days when I wasn’t sure if I would really say anything about her passing. But then I just did it. I was in a blur of mania yesterday. Pretty much I was trying to remain busy in the mind. Writing up and posting pictures and the status update on my Facebook and such – the responses here and there on FB were very, very helpful. Very comforting. Just knowing that people cared about me and also others that ALSO cared about Penny despite not having met her in person – was such a good warm fuzzy.

As of today all my other hams are healthy and happy. Acting like their normal selves. Bob is a WEE bit more withdrawn than usual but I think it’s because he no longer smells a female hamster nearby. He wasn’t nearly as active until I brought home Penny. Much of his energy I think was the maleness in him figuring out how to find his lady love. He must wonder why the scent is no longer there so abruptly. 😦

I have to fight off the temptation of bringing home a new Syrian. This is because at this time I am over capacity to begin with. With all these pets I realize I’ve over extended myself a bit. That I have plenty of hams left. So, there isn’t really a need to stretch my affections and time even more taut. And I would like to find a breeder. A legit one. I would like to try to veer away from Pet shop pets. I cannot help but believe her ill health is directly resulted from bad and inhumane breeding. This isn’t a promise. I might never find a breeder in my area that is educated on genetics and has pure blood lines they are working with. But it is something that being such I have more time on my hands ..that I have time to wait …I can begin looking out for that.

Also, I want a rabbit. And not building up my hamster population again would be smart because I want a lot of time to devote to a rabbit!

So, yes, a rush to fill the hole that Penny  left is something I fight. For all the logical reasons. And really, another hamster just to love is wonderful. But a hamster so quickly ONLY to replace her? That is a road to disappointment and regret. I could never replace her. She was too different and unique. Leaving big paw prints to fill.

My blog will be taking a new direction for awhile I think. I have come here since yesterday with change on the mind. I made a few more tactful changes to what I have to say about some things on my pages. And saw this cute layout for Christmas. I immediately had to be festive and cheerful with the layout. But yes …some new direction would be prudent because her death has changed a bit of my view as a hammy mom. No longer the completely rose-tinted-glasses of a “new” hamster owner. I feel like I’ve gone through a rite of passage. Not the kid one – losing a hamster as a child and losing on as an adult for me are two different events. The change will be subtle.

For one I have been slowly but surely researching and planning ahead for a rabbit. I’m still in the “awwwww bunnies” mindset and not as serious as one needs to be to really be about to undertake rabbit-parenthood. I have awhile yet on that. I do not want to have a rabbit while we live in this small space and without a decent yard area to make an outdoor play pen (my bunny would be living inside of course but outdoor play area I feel is a MUST!) and such. But it would be nice to begin putting some focus on that a little here and there on this blog.

One day it will be “Hammy Happenings & Gerbilations …and it’s all just Rabbitacular!” …Hmm…too corny yes? I’ll have to think about that one too for awhile.

Penny at Rainbow Bridge

Penny Lane is watching down from Rainbow Bridge. This was a picture I made to explain to my 4 year old what has happened to her. I keep looking at it. It’s my MOST favorite picture of Penny. It encompasses her completely. Her personality and beauty. She was always so robust and so full of personality. I will be thinking about her a lot for a long time. I am on and off feeling normal and distracting myself and being upbeat and then feeling dark and disturbed at other moments. There is a closure and yet a feeling of being haunted right now that makes it hard to be completely at peace.

The Christmas Ham, Penny Lane

I wanted a girl hamster. My local stores only carried males. I only had males. And my only two children are males. I only have one female pet, my elderly dog Chloe. I wanted to tip the scales in this home! When I was visiting my parents for the holidays I knew I would be heading to their Petsmart before we left to return to Maryland. I knew I’d bring with us a girl Syrian hamster.

So, on Christmas Day, it rained. It was absolutely dreary. Later in the evening there would be a gale. My husband and myself took the kids and we headed to Petsmart before the storm and because we knew it was open and we planned to leave early the very next day to return home. This was my Christmas gift to myself. I was SO excited I could hardly contain myself.

We arrived and the sale in the store had wiped the place out. It was unexpectedly busy. I made a straight line to the back where the hamsters were housed. I peered in an igloo for the Syrian hamster cage and I saw a lot of white. I was excited! I hadn’t gone in there with any colors in mind. Only that since I had a long hair I’d like to have a short hair. The container stated it was Short hair (But they were certainly incorrect! She was long haired!). An employee was right there and asked if I wanted to see them. I felt my voice catch!

He lifted the igloo and I saw 3 hamsters. ALL that was left for Syrians. They were all sleeping in a huddle on their backs. That was why I saw all white. When they stirred to life Penny was the first I saw. She was alert and ready to go. She was gorgeous – a sable banded, eye rings and all. She was the most vibrant and vivacious of them all. I didn’t hesitate. I don’t even think I noticed the other two sadly as that sounds. “That one,” I said.

As soon as she was in her temporary travel bin at my parents home she was full of life. A wheel of her OWN! (I had brought a spare wheel with us on the trip down as I had planned for her). And she backed right into her sand box and wee wee’d like she had been litter trained all her life. She was active and rambunctious and just so easy to fall in love with.

I never thought of hamsters as intelligent but she was. She was incredibly bright. It’s difficult to explain how I know this. But I did. Intelligence shined in her eyes.

And feline-like she would prance about and rubbed against things and us. I’m starting to lose steam here as I just get emotionally exhausted.

The most touching aspect of this ham’s spirit was the maternal spirit. Immediately she was drawn to and trusting of and affection to my children. She did not shy away from curious hands. Even my infant. She claimed them as her own. She crawled on them and rubbed against them and gave them kisses. She wiggled when I held her but she was still and patient when my 3-year-old at the time – would hold her.

She chirped happily to greet me. She was very vocal though until the end I never heard vocal for negatives. Until the very end she didn’t want to be touched and screeched quite a bit when I touched her. So, I gave her my gentle voice instead and touched her much less.

She was the bravest hamster I’ve ever had so far. The most spirited. The most rambunctious and outgoing. She was an acrobat and gymnast. She was robust and intelligent and a big eater. She could be destructive but never in any way that was unsafe or a real issue or that ever made me cross. And it wasn’t always. But she had the ability. Her strength and stamina could be revered.

As I am not sure how old hamsters are when they are for sell at Petsmart I could only guess. I guessed at the higher end and surmised she would have turned about a year old around now. That she would have been born sometime in November to be able to be sold by Christmas.

Of all the hamsters I looked most forward to decorating her cage for Christmas as she was my true Christmas ham. All the festive bedding I recently purchased was with her mostly in mind. She was the hamster I bought the cardboard climber Christmas tree for.

I just buried her in the flower bed right outside my  kitchen window. I can think of her every time I set my coffee pot. Or wash my dishes. It was a sunny spot so warm in the cold 20 degree weather we are having today. I placed her inside her magenta floral patterned tissue box. I placed lovely shimmering stones on top of her grave. It was a solitary gesture. I could have made this a life lesson for my now 4-year-old. But instead I decided to just have that moment for me and her.

You broke the mold Penny Lane. There will never be a hamster exactly like you. I never felt like you were MY hamster but instead that WE were YOUR people. Thank you for having us darling.

Rant from my misery.

I tell you… I have joined all sorts of hamster forums and communities and the only one worth a damn so far has been Hamster Hideout. Even the Facebook groups it’s just “post a million photos of our cute hamsters” and let me bully you about your minimum space cage and I am human but let’s post a bunch of photos of myself in a rainbow colored suit because I am depressed and all of you seeing my pictures in a hamster community will make me feel tops.

BUT someone posts with concerns about their ill hamster and it’s ignored. It’s like high school in these communities. If you aren’t part of the “in” crowd you and your hamster aren’t worth a lick of salt.

Yes I am livid. And upset. My hamster is dying and my vet can do nothing but euthanize her. And I just wanted some encouragement and advice and suggestion (with some people owning over 20 hamsters and many having died from various illnesses you’d expect they had SOME feedback).

These people who are decidedly silent and I can not help but be surprised when I feel I’ve been emotionally supportive to them in the past.

I don’t say a lot when I am sad.

I watched my daddy die. My sister died. My favorite uncle died. When my cat Fiona died (after losing my Malti-poo Fonzie and never finding him again) and I found her dead it was before any really close family had ever died yet while as an adult. I was so depressed I didn’t shower for weeks. I had to go onto antidepressants to function. After that I have reacted to major deaths in a shutdown mode. Even human deaths.

I have two little boys who I have to be strong for so I especially have to keep most feelings inside to my self. It’s a dark place to deal with death. And just because someone doesn’t talk about it a lot doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings they are dealing with in their own way and couldn’t use some encouragement or sympathy. In this case for their hamster who is dying today but not quickly. She is breathing but not moving otherwise. Has been on fast decline since the vet visit. Making me suspect I never should have taken her there to begin with as it apparently sent over over edge stress wise and didn’t help her in the least.

I just cannot believe how selfish people are. People in these communities with their claims of being different and not being popular in school and having dealt with so much ill treatment by peers because they are homebodies… They go online and form cliques and become exactly the type of people they were bothered by.

Hamstercentral and SHuk and the rest are closed off and holier than thou. Pretty much should just be called “Post Your Hamster Pic Spam and then get the Hell Out”.

If you want any rise out of them just post a picture of a small cage. A big cage is all these people give a damn about. Post about your sick hamster that a vet can’t figure out what’s wrong with it and be ignored. Misplaced values anyone? It’s unreal.

Penny and illness

So, I mentioned Penny had been acting strange. By yesterday she started really acting weird and looking weird. Today she was flopping over. We took her into the vet when the small animal vet was there and she seemed to perk up while there so he didn’t see her at her worst but based on what I described he prescribed antibiotics and probiotic supplements for her. Based on her behavior he can only assume it’s an inner ear infection. She has lost a lot of weight really quickly which can happen for many reasons but often when they are ill. She is however eating and drinking. But she seems to not be drinking as much as she should and was.

Pretty much I have given her her first dose of Batril and mixed her dose of probiotic and she really loves the probiotics stuff. It’s by Oxbow and it smells quite nice. I have it in a little plastic cup and she works on it often.

I hope that it’s not something more serious but I didn’t want blood drawn and all that. She was screeching as he held her. As he checked her heart and eyes and mouth. She has screeched at me for touching her too much. The last thing I would want to do is stress her out more by blood work. If it’s cancer or something there is nothing they can do so it’s just not worth it to me personally to put her through all of that. He felt her gently and didn’t feel tumors or anything. I’d have to say he was respectful of me and her. He treated our time as just as valuable as a dog or cat. They have two small animal vets there at that location and I’ve seen both now. The other was with Bob when he fell and had a swollen inflamed jaw. Both are great. I will definitely feel comfortable with either one seeing my rodents while we live in this area.

Anyway, she has perked up since having her probiotic and I used a syringe to drop water into her mouth which she licked happily. Her balance issue is keeping her from being able to drink water even from the bowl of water I have out in her hospital bin containment.

I just keep putting a little fresh vegetable and fruit in there for her and organic babyfood that has a mix of chicken and vegetables (no onion or garlic flavoring). And just hope she continues to improve. She is my youngest hamster. She just turned a year old. So, when I began to worry she was dying I was really surprised as my older hamsters are fatter and more active than she has been for awhile.

The Hamster Mag Issue 3 is out!

I only just noticed that the 3rd issue was out! Click image to visit!

Random Ham Pics & Discussion

So, I have some random ham to post. Last night a few of my lovelies were up and out and about. Penny took her slice of yellow bell pepper I placed in her cage and ran back into her igloo. Since the weather change she’s been antisocial a bit and lazy. When I put her in the play pen she does nothing in there but run to a corner and try to dig out. I worry about her a little. She is otherwise healthy but just has been a bit strange lately in personality. We might have to make a vet run at some point. So, no pictures of her from last night. She’s not been active until really late at night. Very unlike her but once again – I think it’s possibly a seasonal thing. And she’ll acclimate probably soon. IF not I might have to figure out how to make room for the Mamble again. Because perhaps she is becoming unhappy with a smaller cage. I don’t know. She seemed more than happy before. I don’t want to react too soon about it. But I’d like to rule out everything.

Bob on the other hand is uncharacteristically active. Not that he’s lazy anyway but more so than usual. Hyper almost. He just loves his obstacle course play pen time. When I come in the room he’ll be running fast on the wheel and then an abrupt stop. He pokes out like “Do I hear my human?” And rushes over to me when I open the door. I love all my hamsters but Bob is my bond-ham. He truly loves nothing more than to sit and be stroked gently in my hands. He kisses me. And he is drop dead gorgeous. My Bobby Boy. I do not know what I will do when he’s gone. UGH. But he’s so healthy and spry and gorgeous that I feel I have a long time yet with him!

Order of events – “Do I hear my human?”

 

“Oh, yes, I DO want to come out to see you!”

“Look at me go!”

Strawberry since being put in his Grreat Choice cage has been super active. He loves to monkey bar all over the place. This is the first cage he’s ever been in where he can do that all over. He started out in a Critter Trail when I was new. And those have plastic tops. And then the bin cage only had sections that were meshed on the lid. And then tanks and the tamburino cause it to be difficult to get to the mesh lids due to the slick sides. So, now that he’s in a true cage he has been going full monkey. I walk in there and attempt to coerce him out but he’s too busy dangling and showing off. He does still love to get out but it’s like he has this thing where he has to make it to the door entrance in the most creative monkey like way possible. I’m so pleased by the cage and how he has responded to it.

Last night he was furiously working on his slice of yellow bell pepper when I came back in to visit.

Gabriel is as CUTE as ever!!!! I put a wheel back in his Tamburino along with the Flying Saucer. He prefers the Silent Spinner to the Wodent Wheel. He goes back and forth to the FS and the SS every few minutes. He isn’t urinating as bad in them as he was before. He is going a lot more in his sand box thankfully. He goes through moods with that I’ve noticed.

The Roborovskis! Well, I don’t have pictures as they bolted like Roaches when I flipped on the light last night for some reason. They don’t always freak out by the ceiling light being abruptly turned on but I think it depends on shadows. Anyway, the other night I had Bob in his playpen which is near my bed in my room. I keep it separate from the hammy room so I can chill out and do my think some nights while the hams get exercise and adventure. I read or I am on the laptop. Etc.

Well, I saw a flash of light in the corner of my eye and for a moment I thought “Oh no! Bob got out of the playpen!” But right there just hanging out on the floor beside my bed was SNOW. I have never had an escaped Robo before. Or dwarf in general. SO, I was taken aback. I hopped down and scooped him up and inspected his habitat and it was one of his seesaw toys! It had been worked against the partition and was stuck in the substrate. He was able to crawl on top and easily scale the partition. He is on the top shelf of the bookcase cage. So, for him it was a little bit of a fall. But he wasn’t harmed. He was acting normal but a little freaked by this “freedom” of open space. What really amazes me is that when my hamsters DO get lo0se – and only Bob and Penny ever have. Penny once and Bob a couple times – it has been very short lived and they are usually either coming up to me or are exactly in the first place I look.

Bob will come up to me when loose. When he was injured on his fall from escaping he chirped at my feet (in pain and fear). He knew I was his person and that I’d make sure he got better. Penny isn’t as bonded to me like that as Bob. But she wasn’t far. She was right where I thought to look first.

Snow ran from the hamster room. Across the hall and into my room and ran right up to my bed! How lucky is that? I doubt he had been out for more than a minute or two at most! Hamsters have less than stellar eyesight but their sense of smell is really strong. I wonder if I am familiar enough a scent to lead them to me! Hah!

But yes – lucky or not – that wasn’t an awesome experience. I do NOT like my hamsters or gerbils getting loose. It’s a terrible feeling. So much could happen to them. I have a small dog. I’m not sure how great she is at catching things or if she would. But I have a feeling she would given the chance. And then there are tiny crevices all over the house that aren’t safe options for them. I could go on! So, grateful I’ve not had escapees so drastic that I’ve had to make traps and sit up all night listening for sounds.

Happy Hammy Halloween & Etc

My two favorite Holidays are Halloween and Christmas. I love love love those two holidays. So naturally you know how much I must adore “Nightmare before Christmas” … Ahem. I digress.

This year I had every intention of getting the special edition Carefresh “Candy Corn” bedding. But I slacked on it. And it’s all gone from the stores. One can order online but it’s too late! I am still going to troll the sites to see if it goes on sale online for super cheap to clearance it. Just to have it for next year. But otherwise, I’m S.O.L !

I did however get these super cute Halloween cookies on sale for the rodents. They are huge so I only got four and will break them up for all them to have a piece. But I wanted to take a couple photos of a couple hams with them. Bob and Penny during their time in the playpen tonight were more than happy to oblige.

But I noticed that the special edition Christmas bedding is now out! And I am usually not one of those that starts thinking Christmas before Halloween or Thanksgiving – but I did not want to forget this time. Or for the stores to run out. The Christmas mix is not available online anywhere I could find. It was however in the local Petsmart. It’s so expensive – Carefresh bedding – so I only got the small bag and will use it as a topping over another bedding. This bedding will be the white Kaytee Clean and Cozy (like snow!). And then I ran by the Dollar Tree and picked up four small bags of this red crinkle paper that is used to decorate baskets (I guess).

Also while at the Dollar Tree I picked up some containers for organizing the treats better. The original cute containers I have treats in – thought super cute and colorful – are too much a pain in the rear end to get open and shut. I often spill too much in the process.

I’m really happy with the little jars with the white lids. I only got 3 as I only stock 3 lab block types. Mazuri, Kaytee Forti-Diet, and soon to receive Sunseed Critter Cubes. I want to try out the Harlan Teklad but they are just kind of pricy even in the small sample bag – due to shipping costs. So, I’ll hold off on that for now.

I’m also still using Carefresh Complete Menu with the addition of some more seeds to it – such as sunflower and pumpkin seeds and some freeze dried mealworms and rolled oats. I put the Carefresh Complete in the big container.

And the pour spout container has that “junk food” FM Browns Tropical Carnival in it for a sprinkle treat. I had a bag I got on accident awhile back. I kept it around and the expiration isn’t until next year.

The coffee scoops looked similar to what I saw on a video on youtube – used for a girl’s hamster food. She had cute clay figurines of hamsters she molded and attached. I want to try to do that myself with these two scoops. Totally ripping her off! But seriously. I’ll credit her when / if I do it.

The two pretty blue ceramic bowls were actually from Petsmart. I just need a couple more bowls for fresh vegetables to keep separate from the dry mixes.

 

Fixing the door to the Topper

The mesh I used for my Gerbil Topper was the 1/4 inch grid. It’s not as strong as 1/2 inch. I didn’t use 1/2 as I didn’t want them to be able to get their muzzles through it and start chewing habits. However, due to the need for them not to slip through the door and sides of the entrance I use spring loaded hooks and the tightness was causing the mesh to begin bending. And the door was floppier as well. I just became unhappy with it and did not feel it was secure enough. I was always afraid the mesh would eventually break causing the hook latches to come attached and therefore come home to missing gerbils. Ugh. The thought horrifies me.

So, I bent a section of 1/2 mesh in half and put the hard plastic borders around it (Totally blanked on what those are called! – The red things around the frame) and attached it. It’s so sturdy that I only need two spring latches opposed to the four I needed with the other door. And the way I folded the piece makes it a little difficult for them to get their muzzles through. And even if they could this mesh is very strong so they couldn’t gnaw through it if that’s even possible or desirable for them to try to do. It looks cleaner to me. I’m pleased.

*Other additions – I took the two sides off the burrowing box and flipped over the little steps and turned it into just another shelf for them to climb on. In the middle is just free space with no walls. Only walls are on the sides facing and the back to stand it up.

Pen Pal Post

I have a friend who I met through hamster groups. She is from the UK and we were talking about hamsters. Duh! And what came up was our weird fascination with particular hamster chew toys. She had a thing for the cute wood cheese chews that we in the states have access to. And I told her how I was jealous of the wooden mushroom chews that they can get across the pond! Then it was obvious! We must get these items and ship them to each other! STAT! And we did!

 

Can you stand the cuteness? (Well, if you LOVE mushrooms like I do of course!)

I just like how we are kindred spirits in that way! That we have weird fascinations with things like shaped wood chews! LOL

We are going to do this again! I just have to figure out what I want very much that is obviously not expensive and small and light enough not to cost an arm and leg for shipping! So, I guess that means asking for an Alaska or Alexander Cage or any of the Trixie toys is out of the question hmm?